孩子为什么会“输不起”？

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    一位妈妈最近来乐园咨询，说儿子放学后喜欢和小区里的其他孩子在楼下玩游戏。但是玩着玩着要么垂头丧气回家了，要么和小朋友打起来了。她问了其他小朋友，大家都说他们家儿子玩游戏老是输，输了就发脾气，不承认。这位妈妈相当无奈，说平时孩子学习什么的遇到困难也爱发脾气。
　　情商训练师对这位妈妈说，这个孩子的表现是典型的“输不起”，也就是挫折抵抗力差。
　　从儿童心理学角度来说,孩子“输不起”是一种正常现象。在成长阶段,孩子总希望自己能做得更好,并急切渴望获得周围人的认可。但是如果此时他们不了解自己的强项和弱项,或者没有成熟的价值观,以自我为中心。所以在集体活动时,一旦不如他人或在竞争中失利,便会表现出不满情绪或将责任归罪到其他人身上。当出现这种问题时,家长应该及时疏导,正视对孩子的挫折教育。
　　从外部原因来讲，父母及其他家庭成员没有为孩子抵抗挫折困难提供支持性的环境。现在大多为独生子女，在家里总是受到父母长辈的宠爱,家长想法设法为孩子排除成长中的各种困难,避免他们遭受委屈和挫折。孩子没有遭遇挫折的机会，一旦独自面对某种困难，就会不知所措，要么大发脾气，要么沉默不语一蹶不振。
　　另外，外界评价对孩子的非正确引导，导致孩子过度追求结果的完美。从小父母对孩子期望过高，外界的不公平比较等，树立了孩子做“第一”或“最好”的观念。孩子对待任何事情，都养成了只许成功、不许失败的信念，一旦这种信念遭受打击，就立刻崩塌，自信全无。
   为孩子创设挫折情境，让孩子“输得起”
　　在德国，无论是家长还是学校，都会有意识地培养孩子的抗挫折能力。比如，家长经常给孩子设置一些顺境下的挫折,有时甚至还故意制造一些犯错误的机会。在德国家长看来,孩子总有一天要去更广阔的天地闯荡，所以要从小培养他们战胜困难的能力。
   平时不包办孩子的一切,不要有求必应，给孩子机会独自认识失败的样子；让孩子参加各种劳动，锻炼他吃苦耐劳，让孩子明白成功归功于努力，而非聪明；在游戏中使他明白，参与了即使失败和不如意也是一种经验收获，而非必须成功。让孩子明白“天外有天,人外有人”的道理，任何人都可能面临失败，这是很正常的。鼓励孩子去参加各种体育竞技比赛,这样既可克服骄傲心理，催其奋进，又能让其在早期体验挫折，增强心理免疫力。

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